One of the pillars of size acceptance is the need to accept oneself. It is not easy, and as I mentioned on yesterday’s post, can be even harder if the person suffers from a variant of depression. That is where self affirmation comes in.

Now if you are a child of the 90’s, images of Stuart Smalley may dance around in your head saying “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone It, people like me!” And it is indisputable that that is certainly a form of self affirmation. I think it’s sad that it was mocked on Saturday Night Live in the 90’s by (now) Senator Al Franken, as I think it made those who needed to do exercises like this think that they were silly.
Among the tools in my arsenal is the “Self Affirmation Mirror”. It is a mirror that I keep hidden, but I pull it out when I need it. It is also a mirror I have given as a gift to some close friends that suffer from Depression. It is simply a mirror with self affirmation statements written on it. So when the person looks in the mirror, their (positive) qualities are literally written all over their face.
But I have another tool. A universal tool. Music. There are two more modern songs out there that I think are simply fantastic for self affirmation. The first was written by Linda Perry (the lead singer of 4 Non Blondes) and made famous by Christina Aguilera. The song, as you may have guessed is “Beautiful”. As I am not much of a listener of today’s pop music, it took a while for me to come across it. I actually first heard another version of it, which incidentally is my favorite on the television show “House”. It was performed by musical genius Declan Patrick MacManus, better known to the world as Elvis Costello. Take a listen…

The other song was by a very talented young lady who generally brings forth an uncorked angst in her music. Songs like “Get The Party Started”, “Stupid Girls”, and “So What” are just a few of Alecia Beth Moore’s songs that I really liked. But the performer know to the world over as Pink belted out an amazing song that despite the language (and a video scene depicting self-mutilation) is just an awesome song, as a matter of fact, it’s ”Fucking Perfect”. I like Pink for a number of reasons. She seems like she is very self assured and very ready to take on the world, but there is a fragile undertone about her. I don’t know if it’s her music or her need to change her hair color or what, but she is a very talented artist. I invite you to view her video (radio friendly version) for yourself (please do not watch this if you feel if will trigger any type of self-harm feelings. You can click this link to listen without seeing the actual video—the non-radio friendly version—and still get to hear the song and see the words).

When I need to be picked up, these are just two of the songs I listen to. Sometimes I need to sit in a depressed state for a while to drain it from me. It’s kind of a way to just make myself tired of being sad. I listen to old songs, from artist like Hank Williams Sr., Barry Manilow, Leonard Cohen and some Johnny Cash. A varied mix to say the least, but it gets me though whatever funk I am in.
So, whatever coping skills you use, remember, they are important. Write, draw, self affirm, volunteer, see your therapist, and if you are on meds, keep up with them! And above all, remember to keep being beautiful, because you are fucking perfect.